RDU. And. Well. IDK…the government? Have launched a this new Chch gig guide called Sounds Good.

It was at Lyttelton Records and was one of those events where before I’d even walked in the door I’d already seen three people i know. That’s just Christchurch, though. The complete lack of anonymity was something, a few years ago, that I used to resent and get pissed off about, but have now learnt to embrace. Chch is like one massive Cheers – everyone knows your name, baby. Tonight there were around 15 people I knew, including three I wanted to avoid, one Tinder date, and my first kiss. He and I just give each other silent nods these days. So it was a pretty standard kind of scene.

I’ve been racking my brain all week as to what the name was of the gig guide that was around when I was 18 or 19. It was printed on that nice smelling matte paper, and folded out from an A6 to A2. In the middle was a gig guide for the week, and the other pages were little articles, photos and interviews. My friend from polytec, Kate, who was so cool (she looked like Meg White and played guitar), had a review gig with them, and she’s get me to take the photos, because it was 2003 and I was one of the few people in our group with a digital camera . We’d get our names on the door at all of the gigs in the dives, the Dux and the Jetset, and with our confidence of being ‘official’ we’d push our way to the front and act like we were with Rolling Stone. What was that guide called? It feels like things were simpler back then. Just a free paper guide you got in the dirty cafes like Java and C1. Not an app or a website. Which brings me to my key issue with this particular new gig guide: Whilst they were talking. About the guide. I looked it up on Instagram. Nothing. I looked it up on the App Store. Nothing. It seems it’s just a website (for now?). Which feels like hard work, and to be honest, not something I’m likely to bother using.

Moses, the guy who seems to be behind developing it/ face of it, explained the guide, and…well I’m not going to beat around the bush here, he’s hot and so he can talk to me about his gig guide for hours if he wants to. But just as I was getting into Hot Moses, Mr RDU got up onstage, and started going on about the government and Ministry, and the need for us to all express the State of Music and ‘please leave your feedback or record a little blurb’ to go to the Minister and I got very lost at that point. I mean, I’m not a music industry person, and I know that grants and funding are tight, but I thought I was just here for an app and awkwardly avoiding people in a small room. But now suddenly there’s no app, and things are turning very politically pointed and makes me wonder if the political feedback was a condition of the website getting funding and immediately it makes me suspicious that THE MAN is interfering with THE ART, and well, Johnny Rotten wouldn’t put up with that shit, would he (always a good motto in life: WWJRD?).

Four local musicians played, including Jed Parsons, who I have a lot of time for. Especially his Instagram stories.

We got one voucher for a free wine. So I bought two more. Then some savouries came out at the end of the speeches. They really made us work for those savouries. I then successfully mingled for 45 minutes and managed to gatecrash then divert a conversation into YOU TUBE KINKS. In case you are ever wondering what qualities I can bring to your next event.

Here’s my first ‘Cracked City’ toilet selfie.

This is a new feature of each post that I made up whilst I was in the toilets, avoiding someone. I’, wearing my ASOS black jumpsuit, or TFJ (The Fucking Jumpsuit) and Doodad and Fandango earrings that weigh, like, 1kg each, but are worth it because people love to use them as an ice breaker. That’s what ridiculous accessories were made for.

…Anyway what *WAS* the name of that old gig guide?

– Bonjela x

%d bloggers like this: